It's been two days since the castle and I'm still having trouble piecing everything together. It was one of those experiences where everything was so clear, so vivid and vibrant that it almost seemed like i was taking in so much that my brain wasn't even able to keep up. Everything was so beautifully and meticulously executed despite the lack of necessities- food, drink, water, and potential dangers- falling off all the pedestals I placed myself on.

Love was interesting to me at the time of inspection simply because even though I do tend to let my mind drift over the Concept, I never viewed and felt it so directly and in such subtlety at the same time. It has been a very long time since I've felt strongly for one person in particular. In my stretch of independence I've found nothing more satisfying than the sense of selfish selflesness that I've managed to adopt after giving as much as I had. With the newfound responsibility of Self comes the radiance of love and happiness and all that good stuff and I've found myself surrounded by the sweetest, most amazing friends anyone can ask for. I Love, therefore I Am Loved. Right? But what was peculiar was feeling such strong emotions with the ex-love present. Here I am, accomplishing innocent goals in my childlike search for affection while there's a full grown man in the background, still wanting to take me back into his arms. But in a blink I managed to transport myself from the rock i was sitting on into rumpled bedsheets, two hours away, with his voice in my ear. I picked flowers, managed to find balance on levers, and climbed concrete slabs to get the highest vantage point- all in an effort to get him to see my adventures. And, once i stood with my hands outstretched, fingers feeling the wind, or when I sat with my feet dangling on a rock 15 feet up, or when i managed to balance my weight perfectly, I closed my eyes and sent a secret smile, hoping he felt it.

I'm still learning how to do it, though. And it's hard not to view this as some epic love story, with the twists and turns and the distances and the declarations and the spontaneous trips starting from years before. And it's hard not to imagine some ridiculous life if these connections manage to weather the long days and cold nights. But at the same time, I can't get myself all caught up in imagery, so I'm still leaving this heart pinned securely to my sleeve and my feet fairly planted on this here ground.

There's something about feeling timeless that I'm absolutely addicted to. It's not so much of how the time passes that amazes me, but more of my neglect of time and space, as if distance was no object.

Maybe it isn't?